a noise like the garbage disposal rumbles upstairs not in my sink, but in my bathtub.  signs of tara having just soaped herself.  i think “is she now shredded into itty pieces and a monster is eating her, or one of the cats.  what is this noise that is rumbling so loudly?  i just want to drink a beer.”  i call Sadrah and pop a beer.  text message: megaweirdness at my house call me.  S: what is going on?  Me: there’s a monster in my bathtub.  listen.  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  …

a frightened night of fitfully sleeping waiting to encounter the boogie man or blow up.

9 am.  yoga.  call danielle.  yo, i need the landlord’s number.  there’s a monster in the bathtub.  no joke

12 pm.  the sound is suddenly just gone.  what happened, i think.  am i really going crazy?

12:30 pm.  tara awakes.  Me: um, did you hear the strange sound in the bathtub.  i think we have a monster.  tara:  what?  oh, the jacuzzi button was on. 

laughter.

i wake looking forward to wiping my walls.

and that has happened so very few times.

everything is illuminated, jonathan safran foer. 

shot of makers, 2 victorys. 2 cigarettes.  in under 15 minutes.

meatless chicken, sprouts, mustard vinaigrette.

brunch?

“Eventually I began to desire more.  What I found strange was how much I desired to know what I had not known on Earth.  I wanted to be allowed to grow up. 

“People grow up by living,” I said to Franny.  “I want to live.”

“That’s out,” she said.

“Can we at least watch the living?” asked Holly.

“You already do,” she said.

“I think she means whole lives,” I said, “from the beginning to end, to see how they did it.  To know the secrets.  Then we can pretend better.”

“You won’t experience it,” Franny clarified.

“Thank you, Brain Central,” I said, but our heavens began to grow. -Sebold

SHAKE WELL.

If there’s only one drop left, a more extreme form of shaking may be required.  Like dancing.  Or jumping jacks.  You can do it.  Yeah, it’s that important. (from A1 bottle)

egregious: really bad in a gross way

ephemeral: fleeting; transitory

Work was ridiculously busy and chaotic.  I long to forget my “Tria ways” but they are ingrained in me, so find myself running yes running up and down the stairs to take every single dish downstairs, to clear everything, to not rush anyone, to rewipe unpolished silverware, to wait on other people’s table, etc.  This is extraordinarily exhausting!  I came home and immediately climbed in between my sheets.  I wonder how long I can keep up this pace.  And I ask this after just a week. 

707 brings new excitement and perhaps opportunity if I may be probably overly optimistic.  I hate that I’ve had so many interviews with so little results.  It has been one of the few times in my life where I was not an immediate success.  But then they never gave me a chance.  And I try to look on the bright side and think when I have interviews for “real things” I will know how to properly market myself. 

And so I have two “full time” jobs.  I want to make enough money to go to Bikram Yoga training.  The road is long.  I need to do a lot of research and building of relationships.  I look forward to the challenge.    

This was written on a Saturday night spent at home.

Can’t find the place you’re looking for:  text GOOGL and in the message line write the name of the location and city.  Immediate results.

i’m sick of opening the fountainhead.  i’ve been reading it since like thanksgiving.  integrity, bromides, postures, skyscrapers, dominique francon is not that hot.  well maybe in a pinch.  read: sarcasm.